Most of the expecting parents, especially the first timers, have a lot of fantasies they want to make true once their baby arrives. However, most of the times, these wishes transform into unlimited fantasies very soon. Let me share one such pleasant story of a very close friend of mine, Riya, who became a mom in just January this year!
When I met her in Novemebr 2018……
“Hey Riya, how are you?” Hey Sakshi …..And the girl talk begins! Her maid Anita bought us a cup of coffee and Riya started pouring her heart out delightfully while I sat and listened patiently. She and her husband Amit were very excited about the arrival of their first child, due first week of January. It was going to be a normal delivery. Riya told me that they have booked an advance nanny who will come to live with them from 20th December onwards. Once Riya is discharged from the hospital, she and Amit would go on a shopping spree for their new baby. They would spend time babysitting together. Amit would get the baby’s room fully decorated with all sort of soft toys, games, musicals and all the paraphernalia. After all it is going to be their first child! They would never use old clothes donated by cousins, and nor would they feed the baby on ready-made formulae. And yes by now you would have guessed it, Riya and Amit had a love marriage and they were very close to each other.
When I met her on 20th January 2019……
Riya and Amit were proud parents of a little boy, Ryan. And Riya this time laughed her heart out to me in the same delightful manner as she had done earlier. But on a more “mommy” note. She told me that the baby was born a little premature in the first week of December when Riya entered labour suddenly. They had to spend full 10 extra days at the nursery with the baby before the doctor discharged them. Once they were home, they were so worried about the baby’s health, that neither could they think of any shopping nor any interior decoration and a separate room for the baby. The kept the baby with them 24X7. Riya’s mother-in-law was there to help. The entire family was so scared because of the premature birth, that her mother-in-law felt as if some “buri nazar” had been there on her “bahu and pota”, and so she did not let Riya go out for shopping even now when the baby is okay. She wants Riya to wait for another month and complete first three months entirely in the house! Also, she is making the baby and Riya wear all the old clothes from cousins, as she feels relatives who come to bless the baby might get feel jealous and it is better to keep low profile. Riya loved her mother-in-law very dearly and understood her emotions, but yes she really wished if Amit’s mother could come out of these myths. All their plans were crushed and thrown into a waste basket just because her baby boy was born prematurely. She understood that these were all impracticable fantasies which she and Amit had designed, very different from real life!
Contemplating during my drive back, I really appreciate Riya for being so flexible with her plans and so understanding for her mother in law’s emotions. She has already connected her child to his grandparents which is really important for any child’s psyche. Many of us feel that things would go as planned, or we can manage everything on our own as new parents, but remember this is mostly not the case when it comes to plans with our little ones! I am proud of you my friend and how you are converting the situation in your stride positively. Notwithstanding the fact that I too feel that our elder generation come out of these false myths and beliefs and instead start living life to the fullest. God bless little Ryan and his family!
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