Bittersweet Teenage


I am back with yet another gossip bit from the meeting with my childhood friend Raman and his wife last evening. Raman and Jasmine make for an adorable couple. They have a sweet little angel, a daughter of 15 years, named Sanam, who is too pretty to pen down. Both me and my husband were breath taken by her looks when they entered. We were seeing her after about 7 years yesterday. But as the party progressed, we went all topsy- turvy about our conception about Sanam.

Teenage is one of the most difficult times, not only for children, but for parents as well. And that is what we realized when Sanam went in to read some magazine on her own, and we four elders, started to chat. Raman and Jasmine started the conversation, “Sanam has become so stubborn and irritating. She remains angry all the time, and if she is not angry, she is depressed. That too about her looks.” Oh gosh, Sanam was anything but beautiful. Her looks were beyond common or average for that matter. Further Raman poured in, “Sanam used to be my little princess. But now, recently, anything I do for her, she disapproves. I used to be her hero earlier. She is upset about everything now: the food we cook, the house we live in, the car we drive, how we behave socially and today also we had to make a great effort to bring her along. She was really not willing, and see, now also she is sitting in the bedroom alone reading a book. She has become totally withdrawn and aloof and only likes to laugh while around her friends.”

My daughter is still only 8, so I could not understand their feelings altogether, and what they were going through really. However my husband, Vishal is a psychologist, and he could very well comrehend what the couple was going through. “Teenage Burnout” is what he called it, I’m sure one of his own inventions to impress his patients. 🙂 Anyways, coming back to the point, we let them speak as much as they wanted, so that they could speak their hearts out.

Vishal told them that children tend to behave like so in teenage. Every teenager has his/her own peculiar problem. And with girls, it is the looks most of the times. And same is the case with Sanam. As parents we must understand that they need some time to adapt to adolescence. As parents we have to be very understanding and very patient. We must try to add humor in our conversation with our children, and must try to guide them, rather than force for anything at all, at this phase of life. It is common for children to become rebellious, for them to deliberately trouble their parents, but we must act in a mature manner. It is very important to keep a strong and positive family environment during these years. As parents we have to understand that there is nothing wrong with our youngsters, we must not panic. It is the hormones that play this havoc and thus get settled by itself with time.

Raman and Jasmine were really convinced with what Vishal said, I feel his degree added to his otherwise also effective communication style. I am really proud of my husband for that matter. He can convince absolutely anyone. But yes, I was complacent to see them both feel better. They are what we called our extended family, when we were in Delhi, 7 years ago before shifting to Mumbai. Although we all know teenage is going to be tough, but hearing them out, I can say, you can know it exactly when you experience it. Even Raman and Jasmine are both MBAs, in fact Jasmine is an HR professional, but her own daughter had given her blues she hadn’t imaged. Sometimes, it is just reassurance we need, from someone we trust.

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