Experience: A Young Mother
Many people have different opinions about early pregnancies and parenting. Some criticize it while others embrace it with references to beliefs that things happen and sometimes it is hard to control everything that happens in your life. There is also a percentage of girls who wish and think that the earlier you become a mother the better. With a neutral judgement, I think most of the girls don’t understand the struggles that come with being a young mother.
Not long ago, I realized that being a young mother just hits your life. You don’t even realize what is happening. With the pleasures that youth like involving themselves in, pregnancies don’t even knock, they come unwelcomed.
I have this friend of mine, her name is Tasha. She is 17 now and a mother of one year old kid. I’ve known her for just two months now, but in the two months I have learnt a lot about being a young mother. Her story is so touching. The struggles and how early pregnancies turn around lives is so real. Despite that she told me she feels nice to look at the past and that she was able to learn so much in just a span of time, there is still some pain inside her.
Tasha got pregnant at an early age than she expected just because she was so in love with her boyfriend back then. “We went farther beyond the limits,” she said. Nowadays sex before marriage is a norm. People are getting used to it unlike in the olden days when everyone was strongly against it. “I was in love with him, such that I didn’t even realize what we were doing was wrong and that it could cost me a lifetime.” She explained.
Tasha used to study at a high school far from their home, so she was boarding. It was two years ago, March on a Friday, when her boyfriend convinced her to go and spend the night at his place. Duke, her boyfriend was 19. No one is unstoppable like a girl in love, so Tasha, despite her school friends warning her that it was a big move, she did not adhere to their advice. “I did not think we would do anything apart from holding hands and maybe kissing a little. We kissed, cuddled then one event led to the other.” Said Tasha.
After Tasha learned that she was pregnant, she says she had no choice but to mature up. Duke distanced himself from her and even claimed not to be the father. “My parents were so much disappointed. I was only 15 and pregnant.” Said Tasha. Everyone in school hated her and so she had to leave school. At home she was a disappointed, and no one wanted to be associated with her. At some point her mother just had to accept it, and showed care for her.
“When I gave birth, life turned around. My teenage was no more. I became a mother. A mother with no idea of how to take care of a kid. The worst thing was the regrets I had and the wishes I used to and still have about getting back my teenage and making it perfect with right decisions.” Said Tasha. I felt every pain she had. I imagined it was me going through all that. Losing my youth in a flash and never to get it back.
Being a mother at such a young age is definitely stressing. You don’t even know how to model your child into a good person in future. Being your own kid’s role model becomes hard. The guilt eats you up most of the times. “Right now I’m okay with it but I’d advice young teenage girls to make the right decisions, especially with their boyfriends. You could make mistakes that turn your life to the worst.” Explained Tasha.
This made me realize how easy it is to make one mistake that could make you a young mother without expectation. Being a young mother is a hard thing.
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