It is a known fact that kids are the reflection of our personality. If we use the bad or profane language they will imitate us. They may not know the meaning of the words but they will say them simply because they have heard us.
Recently, a friend of mine came with a similar complaint. At her maiden home, no one used to utter abusive words but as soon as she shifted to her in laws home she went berserk when her mother in- law used profane language regularly. The days passed by, and then she was pregnant, she bore a baby boy, but her mother in law was too stubborn to stop using the abusive words. She even used to curse a 2.5 years old boy, who was too small to handle such things. The natural option was she turned to her husband for help, but her husband was raised in a similar environment and didn’t find anything wrong in that. Though he tried once or twice to stop his mom but he didn’t have enough courage to face his mom (Indian men). The things went worse, when his son also started speaking the profane language at the age of 3. When he went to his Nani’s home, he uttered some really bad words in front of the guests, and everyone felt embarrassed. Though my friend was not at fault, but everyone blamed her for his bad manners.
She used to scream at her kid and threatened her that she would leave home, but these steps only subdued his words in front of her. So, finally one she went to a child psychologist to find the solution. She explicitly told that her mother in law will not stop using abusive words because she is born and raised up like this and she doesn’t find anything wrong it. It is part and parcel of her upbringing. The psychologist suggested her following steps
– If your child uses a curse word, don’t react to it, though it is hard to. Instead, react positively and make them understand the repercussions to it.
– Sure, it would be difficult to keep a straight face and ignore your toddler’s swearing words. But ignoring is the best solution. Scolding or displaying physical abuse won’t help to speed up the process. The kids will get confused and will still use it to get your attention.
– You can use reward me policy if they display good behavior for the things that you like and ignore the things that you want them to get rid of. The children usually like to garner positive attention and rewards, so they will do the things in a positive manner.
– Tell them stories about magical words (please, excuse me, thank you) and illustrate them by giving examples of how these words score above swearing words.
– Lastly, if nothing works be calm and take a deep breath and then express what you are feeling. Without raising a voice or uttering an expletive word tell them exactly what do you want and what you are upset about. Be firm and stick to the consequences.
The psychologist confirmed that an adult should never curse the kid as it could lead to low self-esteem among the kids and they start feeling worthless and unlovable. Cursing can also confuse the kids because it’s not honest communication.
This article is actually a message to all mothers, mother-in-law and fathers, that as a family it is your duty to effectively articulate your feelings to your child in order to make them a responsible citizen. It is not only the mother’s responsibility.
Disclaimer: The information and images displayed on Kidspresso.com are for general purposes only and reflect the personal views of the author. Kidspresso.com assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions in the content.