Last December, it was a short winter break for my 10 year old son, Advik, from his school. We decided to pack him to my mother’s home for a couple of days so that he can have some fun with his grandparents. I must admit that both me and my husband wanted that our son must learn to stay away from us, must learn how to handle stuff on his own besides building an association independently with his grands. This necessity had sprouted from the fact that in November, Advik had to go for a 1 day overnight trip organized by his school, but he refused to participate as he could not dare to think of a night without us!
Let me narrate my experience to you if you are a little apprehensive about leaving your child away from yourself the first time.
We happily drove him to their place which is about 90 kms from our town. Advik was very excited to go there and so we calmly came back dropping him there. He had never been away for a night-over from me in his till now life, however he was so happy and calm while we left him there, that we were completely reassured. Also, the elders of our clan were so happy to have their own time with him! Mom made him talk to us over the phone for a minute or two every day. Both my parents had taken a seven day leave from work to free up their schedule for Advik.
For the first two nights, we were told, that Advik was a little fussy at night while sleeping but OK the entire day. Then he stopped missing us at the night also! Not sure if I laughed when I heard this or felt a little prang of possessiveness over my child, but yes, at the end of the day it is a good feeling to see your child move out safely from your cocoon. Advik kept on narrating so many stories for about a week after his return, he was fully obsessed with his vacation. Even now sometimes he recalls, “I did this there”, and, “I did that there”.
Every day, sometimes every hour, we try to teach something new to our children, especially when they are young. As parents it is our duty to prepare them for the future and fill them up with so much confidence that they are ready to face any challenge. So start giving your child early responsibilities, let him/her decide on his own and sometimes for you as well. Advik took his grandparents to a restaurant, ordered food for them, and brought them back home. He also took them for a movie. Of course, they had a driver to drive and money to pay, but the authoritative position that they endowed upon Advik, was something the child cherished. Children must be nurtured and brought up with extreme care. An over-protective environment or an over-shielding of the child at a subconscious level will do no good to your little one.
Another thought which entered my mind after this holiday of Advik, was that I must spend more time and effort in getting him experiences. If I buy him a toy or a game, he forgets in a few hours, however, whenever I make him try something new on his own, or do something like a bungee jumping activity, he likes to talk about it to everyone for a couple of days! And yes, now I can send him on school trips, to his friends’ homes and everywhere I feel safe. Advik has returned from his grandparents’ as a very confident and a self-sufficient youngster.
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