We usually read that daughters are closer to their mothers while younger, and switch sides towards a father as they grow. I think this age old belief is rightly true. I have a daughter who is 18, we just celebrated Kiara’s 18th birthday yesterday. And that is what has thrown upon me a flashback of memories since the day she was born.
Kiara was a very active and pretty infant by birth; she achieved most of her milestones a bit early. She was walking without support at 8.5 months, uttering simple words by the first year, kicking balls and showing great motor co-ordination by the time she was 1.5 and so it went. Now by the time she was 4, she started accompanying me and becoming my girl-girl companion. She started to tell me what would match and what would not, with a dress, although she didn’t expect that I follow her advice always! And by the time she turned 6, I think the transition took place somewhere between 5 to 6, she became my ultimate friend. She could understand what I was planning, she could accompany me in most of our girl parties, she started to admire herself in the mirror, she started to show liking for little feminine things, like: getting “Henna” applied on festivals with me, getting ready in parlours at occasions and what not. We used to have nail-paint sessions together, aerobics sessions together (she weighed 18 kg at 6 years and still felt overweight), enjoyed evening teas together; infact she liked only two types of people the most, her mom, and her peer group. Arihant, my husband, used to be a bit jealous at times, although Kiara was very close to him as well, but she used to ally out with me more at that age.
And as she grew, by the time she turned 12 I think, “Daddy” started becoming a favourite, pushing mama to the back seat. She used to have questions, which she felt only Arihant could answer, she used to like him topple and topsy-turvy her all the time. She used to prefer if Arihant could take her to hobby classes, and do the art & craft with her that she loved as a pass-time.
Now she is 18, and I hope she will again switch sides someday, just kidding. I absolutely adore seeing both of them together laugh and merry away all the time. And we are a happy loving family. I think, for the balanced development of a child, he or she needs both the parents, and a congenial family atmosphere.
What we usually see today, very commonly, is children bearing the brunt of broken marriages. And for even a greater number of kids, the road is much more bumpier, as the marriage stays but is rutted. Are we not heading at such a fast pace towards westernization, especially Indians if we consider, that we are forgetting our traditional values and morals, and the institution of marriage is one of them. I would say it is high time, that we recall the importance of factors like peace, morality, social kindness, sensitivity towards surroundings etc. that make us more humane, and ultimately we are able to lead better family lives. Let us see this as an investment that we make for our children, for their better emotional stabilities as they grow up.
Of course me and Arihant are not 100% ideal parents, nobody can be, but we are trying and putting in our best efforts, for our dear daughter Kiara. Our kids are our future and let us make some advances for their sweet well-being. I hope Kiara grows up to be a happy, responsible and stable adult, who will be able to handle the many challenges that life with throw upon her. That is how life is!
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