“Bina baat ke nakhre hain iske, sab hi maa bante hain, hum nehi bane kya?” Taunted Nisha’s mother in law. These words pierced through her ears and went straight to her heart. What could she have done about it? She kept on weeping and weeping making her pillow wet and finally fell asleep. After sometime when she got up, the first thing that came to her mind was her childhood friend Naina. Without wasting a second, she dialed her no and asked her to come over weekend which was after two days. Luckily, Naina was settled in the same city and a drive of 40 mins was the only distance that separated them. Nisha knew that her husband would be out on a business trip and this would give her a good chance to pour her heart out to Naina.
Weekend arrived and so did Naina. Nisha jumped with joy on seeing her. Tears rolled down her cheeks…. It was just a week back that she met her still this time was a different one. Nisha got Naina to her room and for the first 15 minutes, she kept on crying like a helpless child. Naina couldn’t understand as various thoughts started to dance in her mind. Finally, Nisha stopped weeping. It’s as if she had been waiting for someone who could really hear her heart screaming for calmness and warmth. To which Naina was the only trustworthy answer.
Nisha spoke that right after her delivery, she had been feeling somewhat awkward about her surroundings. At first, she thought it was because of the new role that she stepped in and may be it would take few more days to adjust and things would fall back to normal. But no!! She found herself getting drowned day by day into the marshland filled with haunting thoughts of anger, depression, suicide. She didn’t know what to do. She started getting irritated day by day on small small things like- if her husband wanted to switch on fan’s regulator on no 2 and she wanted it to be changed to 3, she would speak with utter anger and a rough tone that gradually started effecting her relationship as well. Her husband Dev stopped listening to her, stopped comforting her and a cold wave developed in their relationship.
In laws on the other hand didn’t notice the depth of it. Mother in law started complaining Dev about Nisha’s behavior and used to taunt her. Nisha wanted to spend more time with her baby but she always used to pick the child from her and carry in her room, giving no space for the new mother to form a bond of love and affection with the new child. This frustrated Nisha a lot. When she spoke to Dev about all this, he didn’t pay her any heed. Finally, she relied on Naina.
Naina asked her to tell the symptoms clearly. Nisha stated these:
- Anger on her tips
- Mood swings
- Loss of appetite
- Feeling sad
- Suicidal thoughts
- Uncontrollable crying
Naina at once decided to take her to the doctor, her gynecologist and share the concern for her dear friend.
The doctor had a detailed discussion and concluded that Nisha was suffering from postpartum depression and that the treatment needs to be started straight off.
Naina spoke about this to Dev and his mother, explained them the scenario. She was put under medication and some therapy at home itself. After a month, she was fine.
The onset of this depression may be sudden and the recovery time depends on factors like how much love and support she receives from her spouse and other family members.
Request to all the husbands there to check out for these symptoms. If you catch them, go for the treatment immediately.
Nothing major drift happens in a mother’s behavior generally, she might feel a bit tired and a drip in her energy levels, that’s fine. But if any of the above symptoms prevail, please stand with them. Your love and affection can bring back your wives to a normal state without effecting the relationship much.
Also for the other family members, few pieces of advice:
– Allow the mother to bond with her child, dnt add to her frustration.
– Don’t start giving advices and tips on every move she takes for her baby.
– Certain homely “Nuskas” are beneficial but things have changed in the present times. Some “Nuskas” aren’t applicable in the present times
– Today’s mother are educated, they have easy access to internet, they are capable enough to speak on their own and consult the doctors. Stop dictating them to listen to the elder’s advice always or to consult only the “family doctor”.
– All these cause frustration and may lead to depression.
Allow her to take the stand and more importantly, trust her decision. This would boost her morale and even if a depression of such sort has started, it won’t spread much if she is respected and loved properly.
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