Sibling Dynamics And Rivalry


Rohit and Raghav are always seen fighting and this concerns their parents a lot. Though this is not the only example in the society, it’s a common string of discord that is omnipresent in every home. But what worries the parents more is when one sibling develops a sense of jealousy over the other. This must be taken care of and should be eradicated before it takes a different direction. Up to a certain age it is considered negligible. I mean its ok to fight. But a household that undergoes such conflict proves to be stressful for everyone.

Stress of Parents:

– They fear that when they grow up, they might not have good relationships with each other

– They might hurt each other physically or emotionally

– They may become bullies


Different forms of rivalry:

1. Blaming

2. Poking

3. Name-calling

4. Lying

5. Purposely breaking the things of the other sibling

6. Hitting

7. Hiding each other’s important things


Things to understand why Kids fight:

Not sharing attitude: A toddler wouldn’t want to share his /her own toys or accessories with the elder siblings. But then this happens at a particular age. At times, the toddlers react aggressively in order to protect their things. This may not be taken well by their elder siblings in case the gap between the two is not much.

Different Temperament: Every individual has a unique temperament. Some react aggressively to an unpleasant situation while some stay calm from outside and try to resolve. So when one is aggressive on every small matters, the possibility of conflict is higher.

Health issues: Sometimes when one child is sick, this calls for the extra attention towards him/her. This might be seen as a major rejection from the parental side towards the other sibling.


How to Deal in such scenarios:

* Parents should not get involved when the siblings are fighting. Only when there is a fear of physical harm between them, then they should interface and stop the matter from going further ahead.

* Kids should be separated till they regain calmness in their attitude. Once its achieved, both should be made to sit and talk.

* If both are in need of the same toy at the same time, make them play a game that involves the usage of it by both at the same time.

* Make the kids understand that there are certain rules for behavior in the house. Hands to be kept under their control.

* Inform them that they need not call the other sibling with a bad name or yell at each other.

* In case one child has created a major mistake, explain him/her so that the child is aware of the reasons that he/she is getting notified for.

* Two different kids may have their own tastes. One is a socialite, who enjoys going to the park in the evening. Take out time for him. The other likes to read books and stay at home. Give him the space as well.

* Allow them to have their own space individually.

* Try to figure out ways to bind them together like going out for a picnic, movie or any such task in which both have slight interest. Even the slightest interest on the same page can prove beneficial.

But it is important to note that this sibling dispute helps them to cope up with certain challenges in life too.

* With time, they learn to adjust

* They learn to respect other person’s point of view

* They learn the art of compromising and negotiating

* Aggressive impulses come under control

Thus, one mustn’t be completely unhappy when they see their kids fighting always, certain beneficial points should also be seen. It depends on the angle from which we see things and perceive accordingly. However, we should always stay in an alert position so that they don’t harm each other or the situation doesn’t go out of control!

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8 thoughts on “Sibling Dynamics And Rivalry

  1. Very nice article, as a parent we should allow our kids to resolve their fight. We should not interfere and let them find solutions.

  2. A great parenting can help the siblings become best friends. It’s ok to sometimes fight but they should learn to respect each other.

  3. Very informative article … a parents we must take important role to understand the problems of our kids and the reason of their fight .And finally helped both the kids to solve the fight.

  4. very well penned down thoughts. Parents play an important role here to make them aware of sharing. Nevertheless, gradually they will be learn to adapt and respect each other.

  5. I think , we all need to be practical in our expectations. It may not be always possible to have a dream bonding among siblings. They have their own individuality and we as parents need to respect that but at the same time be ready to intervene if situation goes out of control or physical quarrels starts.

  6. Nice article, but my question is how to develop Love among siblings? It is often observed that elder sibling sometimes feels jealous as he feels his love and attention is being given to younger one. In such a case how to make elder one understand this

    1. It is indeed tough to deal with such a situation but not an impossible one. The elder needs to be given a regular counselling. May be speaking this way might prove fruitful, as in- You are elder, so you are more intelligent and matured, you have a better understanding. Elders take care of younger ones so try to be loving and caring towards your younger sibling….. May be it helps…..

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